


Dad Max

by merrymegtargaryen



Category: Mad Max Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-04 07:25:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 11,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4129635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merrymegtargaryen/pseuds/merrymegtargaryen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabbles set in a modern au where Max is a hobo dad and Furiosa drives a war minivan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> thestarkinthesweater asked: Prompt: nux and rictus babysitting(angharads, dags, and possible others) babies

The sisters didn’t have girls’ nights very often anymore–they were Real Adults with Real Jobs and Responsibilities now, and finding a night where all of them were available and willing to go out was rare. So when they’d all finally decided on a Friday night, Nux and Rictus, the two husbands, were volunteered into watching the kids. They didn’t mind–they loved the kids, and they knew how much the sisters needed a girls’ night.

They ordered pizza and got a giant tub of ice cream and settled the kids in front of a Pixar movie; Rictus braided hair while Nux painted nails. It was good. It was fun.

And then Slit showed up.

Slit loved the kids, and the kids loved Slit–a little too much. Within minutes of his arrival, the kids were screaming and running all over the house and begging for Uncle Slit to either chase them or throw them around. They absolutely wrecked the house.

“WITNESS!” Slit shouted, doing a backflip on the trampoline. The kids shrieked in delight and all tried to imitate him.

And then, in typical Slit fashion, he left to go barhopping, leaving a messy house and wound up kids.

It took hours to get the kids to calm down and fall asleep in front of Frozen while Nux and Rictus painstakingly went through the house and cleaned up everything. No sooner had the two exhausted men flopped down on the couch than the front door opened, admitting Capable, Dag, Cheedo, Angharad, and Toast.

“You guys look exhausted!” Cheedo giggled, leaning on Dag for support.

Angharad loaded a sleeping Max into her car and drove off to take Toast home, and Rictus got a very drunk Dag and Cheedo into the car along with Dag’s little girl, Sunflower. Nux and Capable’s kids were still snoring in their sleeping bags on the floor.

“The house is clean, the kids are asleep–you guys had it easy,” Capable said, kissing his cheek.

Nux gave her a pained look. “I think Ric and I need a guys’ night.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hllors asked: Also I need you to write something happy so here's a prompt: Someone steals Slit's prescription sunglasses and the sisters defend his honor.

The sisters were eating lunch at their usual table in the cafeteria when Slit dramatically threw himself into a seat beside them.

“Greg Hanson stole my PRESCRIPTION sunglasses!” he wailed.

As one, the girls rose to their feet.

“Come on, Slit,” said Angharad, who was definitely the ringleader here. “We’ll get your glasses back.”

Cheedo and Dag held Slit’s hands while the girls marched down the hall to where Greg Hanson was wearing Slit’s sunglasses.

“Hey asshole,” Toast snapped. “Give Slit his glasses back.”

Greg stared at them. “Uh, no?”

Capable folded her arms over her chest. “Give them back, Greg.”

Greg and his friends folded their arms over their chests. “No,” he said, smirking at them.

Angharad suddenly screamed and collapsed. An administrator came running over. “What happened?!”

“It was Greg,” Capable said with wide eyes, sounding much more innocent than she had a moment ago. “Angharad asked for Slit’s sunglasses back and Greg punched her!”

“I didn’t!” Greg insisted, but it was his word against all the girls and Slit’s. His friends had cleared out the moment the administrator came over.

“I just wanted to help Slit,” Angharad said pitifully, holding her stomach.

The administrator glared. “Give Slit his glasses back.” When Greg did so, reluctantly, the administrator marched him to the principal’s office.

“You guys are the best,” said Slit, putting on his sunglasses. He threw his arms around Dag and Cheedo’s shoulders and walked down the hall with his entourage of teenage girl protectors.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rhllors asked: (416):Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment. - nux & slit

Nux was driving Capable and her sisters home from the club when he got a text. Stopping at a redlight, he read it and swore under his breath.

Slit had gotten in a huge fight at the club–hence the reason Nux was driving the girls home. Three guys had been continually hitting on the girls, and when Slit found out he decided to fight them. All three of them. At the same time.

They’d had to call an ambulance and Nux, who didn’t drink very often these days due to too much drinking when he was younger, had gathered all the girls and gotten them in his car.

“What’s up?” Capable asked.

“Slit got out of the ambulance.”

She groaned. “He’s so stupid.”

“But he’s sweet when he wants to be,” Cheedo defended from the backseat.

“That’s one word for it,” Toast muttered.

After dropping the girls off at their respective residences, Nux and Capable headed over to his apartment. Slit was sitting on the couch, holding a bag of frozen peas against his cheek while surfing through Capable’s Netflix.

“You need hospitalization,” she said firmly.

“I’m fine,” Slit said smoothly. “’1970s foreign supernatural’ is such a weird category, why would they even recommend that?”

“Slit, you really need to go to the hospital,” Nux said.

“No.”

Capable folded her arms over her chest. “And miss out on the hot nurses?”

“Nurses aren’t hot, they wear those scrubs,” Slit complained.

Nux and Capable conferred for a minute.“If you let us take you to the hospital, we will seriously consider the possibility of a three-way makeout session.”

Slit stood up and tossed aside the frozen peas. “Let’s go.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rhllors asked: I have a prompt for you: cheedo having a nightmare while max is babysitting and needing comfort

Max was watching pro-wrestling (with the volume very low, of course) when he heard the shuffling of feet; turning around, he saw his youngest charge standing in the doorway to the living room, rubbing her eyes. “I had a bad dream,” Cheedo sniffled. “Can I sit with you?”

This was a first. The girls were normally good about staying in bed once he could get them down for the night. He’d had to occasionally poke his head in and tell them to stop giggling so loud and go to sleep, but he’d never encountered a nightmare before. He wondered what Furiosa’s policy was on bad dreams, but he figured it couldn’t hurt to let Cheedo calm down with him.

“Sure,” he said, patting the cushion beside him.

Cheedo jumped onto the couch and curled up beside him. “There was a monster,” she explained, worming under his arm.

“Well, he’s gone now,” Max said, hoping this was at least somewhat comforting to the girl.

“What are you watching?”

He glanced at the screen right as the Imperator slammed Immortan Joe’s head into the mat. “Um. Wrestling.”

Cheedo pointed at the screen. “If the monster comes back, will you do that to him?”

Max glanced at the screen again. “Of course.”

Cheedo beamed and nestled back against him. They watched wrestling until Cheedo drifted back to sleep, at which point Max carefully picked her up, draped her over his shoulder, and carried her up to the room she shared with Dag. It was a very standard girls’ room, with flowers everywhere and a nightlight bathing the room in a warm yellow glow. Max ever so gently laid Cheedo in her bed and pulled the covers up to her shoulders.

“I love you, Hobodad,” Cheedo said sleepily.

Max paused. He wasn’t sure which surprised him more–being told “I love you” or being called a Hobodad. He settled for awkwardly grunting and brushing a lock of hair off her face before tiptoeing out of the room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Prompt: one of the five gets married and the whole family goes crazy trying to make it perfect.

In the end, Angharad was the one who ruined the wedding.

Capable woke up with a nosebleed. That was the first sign that something was going to go wrong today.

They’d gotten a stylist to come in and do Capable’s hair and makeup, and after stopping the nosebleed, they went right to work. Angharad, the maid of honor and unofficial wedding supervisor, started making phone calls to make sure everything would go as smoothly as possible.

The caterer was running late, of course, and Dag’s morning sickness was giving her a slow start.

“I know you are sick right now,” Angharad said in a murderously quiet voice. “But this is our sister’s BIG DAY so you had better SUCK IT UP.” She hung up before Dag could call her a smeg.

It was fine. It was cool. Angharad could handle this.

Dag finally showed up, looking wan but determined. The photographer ran around taking pictures of the sisters as they changed into their bridesmaid gowns and helped Capable into her wedding gown, and she even got a few shots of Max and Furiosa poking their heads in to say hi. They all drove over to the garden where they were holding the wedding, and Angharad noticed with some dismay that it was threatening to rain. Refusing to let this hold her back, she chivvied Capable out of the way and waited on the groom.

Nux arrived half an hour after he was supposed to, looking impossibly hungover.

“What did you do to him?!” she snapped at the best man.

“Chill, Splendid, we just gave him a bachelor party to send him off into the shackles of matrimony!” Slit said.

“Well that’s just great,” she snapped. “He’s going to look like a corpse in the photos!”

“The photographer can hide the dark circles,” Slit said dismissively. “Besides, no one cares what the groom looks like.”

He had a point, but Angharad was still furious. “That was so irresponsible of you.”

“I didn’t touch any strippers,” Nux insisted. “I just drank. And smoke. A lot.”

“I don’t believe this.” Angharad rubbed her belly to silence the baby’s violent kicking. “Get him some caffeine or something.” She went to go see how the bride was doing. Capable was talking to Cheedo and both women were tearing up.

“Don’t cry, you’ll ruin your makeup,” Angharad told them.

Finally, it was time. Angharad led the way down the aisle, beaming at all the guests as if this wasn’t the most stressful day of her life. Nux, she was pleased to see, looked a little more alive, but there was no helping the dark circles under his eyes. Angharad, Toast, Dag, and Cheedo lined up on one side of the altar and watched as Capable, looking radiant, walked down the aisle. Nux couldn’t take his eyes off of her and it was so endearing that Angharad almost forgave him for the state he was in. Almost.

“Dearly beloved,” the officiant began, and Rictus, one of Nux’s groomsman, began bawling. Everyone valiantly pretended not to notice, but his sobbing got louder and louder. Finally, one of the Vuvalini had to hand him a handkerchief and pat his back. Or as much of his back as she could reach.

Capable’s wedding vows were perfect–not too short, not too long, but meaningful and beautiful.

Nux’s vows were in Elvish. Angharad went red with humiliation, but Capable was beaming at him.

And then they were married. Everyone moved to the reception and had a great time. Angharad eased into a chair and watched, finally able to relax.

Until she felt a very distinct sensation.

“Oh no,” she said, her hand on her belly. “Oh fuck no.”

“What’s wrong?” Furiosa demanded.

“She’s going into labor,” one of the Vuvalini observed.

“No!” Angharad said, clamping her legs together. “I can wait until the wedding’s over! I won’t ruin this day!”

“That baby’s coming whether you want it to or not,” Max told her. “Come on, Splendid.”

Angharad could only imagine how strange their group must have looked as they wheeled her into the hospital. Max, Furiosa, and all the sisters, including Capable, wedding dress and all, went with Angharad into the delivery room.

“This is supposed to be your special day!” Angharad shrieked as she pushed.

“This is my special day! I got married, I wore a dress, I ate some cake. Now I get to watch my nephew be born,” Capable said with a beam.

There were a lot of memorable moments that day that the photographer managed to capture, but everyone’s favorite was the picture Nux snapped on his iPhone of Capable wearing her wedding dress and holding her newborn nephew.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ohmeohmeyer asked for 46: nanny/single parent au

uriosa ambled into the house. “Oh, it feels good to be home,” she groaned, exhausted. “Are the girls in bed?”

“Yes, I got them to sleep an hour ago.” Max set down the disinfectant spray he was using to clean the kitchen and folded his arms over his chest. Furiosa was surprised to see him wearing an apron. “Why couldn’t you have called and said you’d be late?”

She blinked at him. “I…didn’t think about it? I’m sorry?”

“I made this beautiful dinner and it got cold,” he complained, gesturing to the dinner table.

“Oh, Max, that’s really nice of you,” she said, growing more bewildered by the minute. “If I’d known you were going to, I would’ve called…”

He sniffed.

“Max.”

He grunted.

“You don’t have to do all this, you know.” She unlaced her boots and kicked them into a corner. “The arrangement was that you can stay at my place as long as you watch the girls when I’m gone and keep the house in some semblance of order. You don’t have to make elaborate dinners for me. You don’t even have to microwave a Hot Pocket for me.”

“I just thought it might be nice,” he said stiffly.

She gestured to the table. “Well sit with me while I eat it, okay?”

He considered. “Okay. But then you should get some sleep. I’m making cranberry muffins for breakfast and then I have to take the girls to get checkups.”

Furiosa burst out laughing. “You don’t have to do that!”

Max only grunted.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ohmeohmeyer asked for 15: meeting in the ER

The guy had been in a wreck, a really bad one–there was no way he should’ve been alive.

“What’s your name?” Furiosa asked him as a nurse helped her pull shards of glass out of his forehead.

“Max,” he grunted.

“You’re in bad shape, Max,” she told him honestly.

“I’ve been in worse,” he said. She believed him. “What about the kid?”

“Kid?”

“In the other car. Some teenager.”

“He’s stable,” Furiosa assured him. “Someone else is taking care of him right now.”

“How bad?”

It was obvious the guy wouldn’t rest until he knew about the other kid, so she kept talking about the teenager to distract him. “Some scarring, but he honestly seems impressed with it. Keeps talking about how the girls will love it.”

Max gave a wheeze that she took to be a laugh.

“He won’t shut up, either, no matter how much painkiller the nurses are pumping into him. Keeps calling everything shiny and chrome.”

“I thought I might’ve killed him,” Max grunts.

“He’s a resilient kid,” Furiosa said, calmly extracting a shard of metal from his neck. “You should hear him talk, though; you might wish you had finished him off.” 

She continued talking to him–about the teenage boy, about her daughters, about literally anything else. Max was finally out of danger and the nurses wheeled him off to a recovery room. “What’s your name?” he rasped as Furiosa walked along beside him.

“I’m Dr. Jo Bassa,” she said, careful to maintain doctor-patient etiquette.

“Thank you,” he rasped.

She managed a small smile down at him. “You’re welcome…Max.“


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4: teacher/single parent au

Furiosa swept into the room. “Can someone explain to me why I got a call from the front office?”

Max rose from his seat. “Mrs. Jo Bassa–”

“It’s Ms.,” she snapped, turning to her daughter. “Capable, would you like to tell me what you did that warranted a phone call?”

Capable was looking at her with horror. “Please don’t kill me.”

“What. Did. You. Do?” Furiosa ground out.

Capable took so long to respond that her teacher took pity on her. “I found her smoking a cigarette behind the bleachers with a boy in the class.”

Furiosa’s mouth fell open. “You what?!”

“I just wanted to try it!” Capable wailed. “Just to see what all the DARE talks were about! They’re really gross and I’m never doing it again, I promise!”

Furiosa rubbed her temple. “Go wait outside.”

Capable fled from the room.

“I’m so sorry,” Furiosa said. “She’s a good kid, I don’t know what made her wanna…sneak around with boys and smoke.”

“Thirteen is a hard age,” Max said. “I’ve caught kids doing far worse.”

Furiosa sighed, dropping into a desk in the front row. “This boy…”

“He’s a good kid too,” Max said, easing onto his own desk. “Wouldn’t shut up if you held a gun to his head and has the unfortunate habit of drawing all over himself, but he’s a good kid.”

“Who gets girls to smoke with him,” she argued.

He shook his head. “They’re good friends; I don’t think it’s what you’re making it to be, Mrs–Ms. Jo Bassa. I’m sure you tried some stupid things in middle school.”

She had, and she had done far worse than smoking a cigarette with a friend, but she wasn’t about to admit that. “I was a little harsh with her,” she ceded. “I just…need to have a talk with her. She isn’t getting suspended for this, is she?”

Max shook his head again. “I don’t like reporting kids for this kind of stuff, especially since I don’t think she’s gonna try this again.”

“Thank you.” Furiosa eased out of the desk. “I really appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem.”

Furiosa left the room, trying not to think about how unreasonably attractive her daughter’s teacher was. Capable was waiting outside, tears in her eyes. “Mom–”

“I’m sorry,” Furiosa said, throwing an arm around her shoulders. “I freaked out. Just…don’t do anything stupid like that again, okay?”

Capable nodded furiously. “I won’t.”

“Good.” Furiosa glanced behind her and, satisfied there were no eavesdroppers, leaned in. “So tell me about your teacher.”

“Mom!”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Capable/Nux telling the fam that she's preggers! Thanks!

Max opened the door to reveal his daughter and her husband. “Hi Dad!” Nux exclaimed, reaching forward to hug Max.

Max gave Capable a Look. She bit back a grin and waited her turn to also hug her father. “Is everyone here?” she asked casually.

“Yeah, you two are the last ones to show up.”

Capable tried hard not to blush–she didn’t want her dad to see the shit-eating grin she was currently holding back and put two and two together. “Oh, well, cool,” she said, moving into the kitchen. The rest of the family was indeed there–Angharad and Cheedo were checking something in the oven while their husbands talked about cars with Furiosa, Toast and Dag were currently having a heated discussion about the drought, and Angharad’s kids were playing with Dag’s little girl.

“Look who finally decided to show up,” Toast said with a smirk.

Capable turned red. “Well, actually, we’re late because we, um, got some news today.” It wasn’t entirely true but it wasn’t also an entire lie. She looked up at Nux and squeezed his hand. “We–”

“We’re having a baby!” he shouted. “I mean, technically, Capable is having the baby, but we’re gonna be parents!”

The room exploded with squeals of delight and congratulatory exclamations. The sisters engulfed the couple in a giant group hug.

“I’ll lend you my maternity clothes,” Angharad said.

“Make sure to stay away from caffeine and herbs,” Dag told Capable.

“Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” Cheedo gushed.

“I literally cannot imagine Nux being a father,” Toast said.

“I need a drink,” said Max.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rhllors asked: Please write the wives trying to matchmake max and furiosa

Max and Furiosa had been not-dating ever since the girls could remember and they were starting to get fed up. The two adults clearly belonged together–why couldn’t they understand that?

“We have to do something,” Angharad announced, having called a meeting in her and Toast’s room.

Cheedo raised her hand. “I say we write love letters and leave them lying around so they’ll think they’re from each other.”

“That’s a really good idea, Cheedo, but I think they’d figure it out,” Angharad said gently.

Dag raised her hand. “We old-school lock them in a closet together.”

The girls considered.

“It’s not the worst idea,” Capable said tentatively.

“It’s not a good one,” Toast grumbled. But since they had no better alternative, they decided to do just that.

It took a while to plan it, mostly because it was hard to get Max and Furiosa in the same room at the same time. But Max was fixing the wiring in the downstairs bathroom and Furiosa was helping him when the girls took their chance and locked them both in the bathroom.

“What’s going on?!” Furiosa shouted, hammering at the door.

“It’s for your own good!” Dag shouted back before hiding upstairs with the other girls.

“The hell is this about?” Max wanted to know with a bewildered look on his face.

“I have no idea,” Furiosa said honestly. “Max, you don’t…you don’t think they know, do you?”

“Know?” He blanched. “I don’t think so. We’ve been careful.”

“Hmm.” Furiosa smirked. “Well, I mean, since we are here…”

“I don’t want to gross you guys out, but it totally worked,” Dag said, her ear pressed to the floor.

“Dag, stop that,” Toast said in disgust. “That’s our mom and our babysitter.”

“He’ll probably be our dad soon,” Cheedo said, brushing her doll’s hair. “I never thought I’d have a hobo dad.”

“He’s not a hobo,” Angharad corrected. “He’s just…well. Okay. Maybe he is a hobo.”

“And he’s gonna be our dad,” Capable giggled.


	11. Chapter 11

Nux has been going on the Rockatansky-Vuvalini family camping trips for years now. Initially, Capable had had to beg her parents to bring the loud neighbor kid who was always hanging around, but it hadn’t been long before the Vuvalini always called to make sure Capable was bringing “that nice young boyfriend of hers”. They were even allowed their own tent now that they were adults–in the past, they’d wait until everyone was asleep and then sneak off to make out in the woods.

Nux always had a good time with this big weird family he unofficially belonged to. He’d grown up with Capable and her sisters, and Max and Furiosa were like his second parents (they were definitely better than the first ones, at any rate). The Vuvalini weren’t blood-related to Furiosa or the girls and definitely not to Nux, but they felt more like family to him than his own. He lived for the nights when they would roast the fish they’d caught earlier in the day, trading stories and laughing under the stars. This was his family; this was where he belonged.

He didn’t know how it happened, but he was sitting with Capable on top of his car, curled up in blankets and looking up at the clear night sky with her family just a few yards away laughing as Seeds played her harmonica, when suddenly he looked at Capable and she looked at him and he knew.

“Marry me,” he said without thinking.

Capable laughed in surprise. “What?”

“Marry me,” he said, sure of it this time.

She stared at him, a half-smile lingering on her face. “Did you just decide this?”

“Yes,” he admitted. “I mean, I always knew you were going to be the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with…but I didn’t know it until now.“

Her smile widened. “Why?”

“Because of the way you looked at me,” he said, feeling a bit stupid. “Because when you looked at me and I looked at you, with the sky just like it is and with your family right there…I don’t know, it just clicked that this is where I’m supposed to be.”

“On top of your car?”

“With you,” he insisted. He paused. “I know it’s not the most romantic proposal, but–”

She shut him up with a kiss. “Of course I’ll marry you, you nerd,” she said, still smiling. Then she sat up.

“What are you doing?”

“We have to tell the family,” she said, throwing the blankets off of them. She slid off the car. “Well come on!”

Nux grinned and hopped down next to her. He loved this woman.


	12. Chapter 12

“Have you lost your damn mind?!”

Capable winced and turned around. Max was standing in the doorway, looking as if he wanted to pull his hair out. “You can’t keep using your telescope to spy on the neighbors!”

“It’s only one neighbor, and it’s nothing…inappropriate,” she said, cheeks flushing. 

“Oh, so watching him wrestle shirtless with his friend is perfectly appropriate, then?” he challenged.

“Who’s wrestling shirtless?” Dag asked, poking her head through the door.

“Yeah, who?” Cheedo echoed, also poking her head in.

“Did someone say ‘wrestling shirtless’?” Toast and Angharad came up behind the other two.

“Your sister is a peeping tom,” Max tried to tell them, but the girls were already flocking around Capable’s telescope and fighting to get a good look.

“This is criminal!” the former cop exclaimed.

Furiosa poked her head through the door. “Is she doing it again?”

“She’s gotten all of them in on it,” he grumbled.

“Girls, stop spying on the neighbors!”

“It’s okay Mom, he spies on me too when he thinks I’m not looking,” Capable tried to reassure her. “I always close the blinds when I’m changing though.”

Max turned red and stormed out of the room.

“Where are you going?” Furiosa demanded.

“To buy curtains–one for him and one for her!”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rhllors asked: Please write Cheedo bringing home a litter of puppies And asking Max if she can keep them.

The little girl stared up at him with three fluffy puppies in her arms. The other two were nipping at her heels. “Pleeeeaaaase?”

“No, Cheedo,” Max said sternly. “We are not adopting puppies.”

“But I want them,” she whined. “And they want me! Look!” She nuzzled her face into their soft little bodies and the puppies nuzzled back. It was adorable.

Max shook his head. “We can’t take care of them.”

“But who else is gonna take care of them?“ Cheedo demanded. “They were on the side of the road!”

“I know, sweetie, but you can’t just bring five puppies home and expect us to take care of them.”

“But I’ll take care of them!” she said earnestly. “And look, there’s FIVE of them! There’s one for each of us! Me and Angharad and Toast and Capable and Dag can each take care of a puppy and you don’t even have to do anything!”

“No, Cheedo.”

Cheedo looked like she wanted to cry. “Just HOLD one!” And she thrust a puppy at Max. Reluctantly, he held the puppy against his chest. It squirmed against him and then licked his chin; when he ducked, it licked his face. “See, he likes you!” Cheedo insisted.

Max sighed. “Okay. Fine. You can keep the puppies.”

Cheedo squealed and wrapped her free arm around his leg. “Thank you Daddyyy!” She put the puppies back in her wagon and trundled happily into the house. Max stared at the puppy in his hands. It yipped. Max sighed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rhllors asked: you dropped your wallet and i brought it to your house au. -- furiosa/max

“Hey, wait!” Max tried shouting, but the truck had already pulled out of the parking lot. He opened the wallet and looked for a driver’s license. It was in a clear sleeve of the wallet; her name was Furiosa, which made Max feel a surge of respect. Her address was printed neatly in the middle; as he couldn’t find her phone number anywhere else in the wallet (maybe if he looked harder, but he felt uncomfortable snooping through this woman’s wallet), he decided he would just swing by her house and drop it off.

It didn’t take too long to find her house; it was in a neighborhood just a few miles away from the grocery store. Max walked up to the front door, a little anxious but eager to get the wallet back to its owner. He rang the doorbell and heard a flurry of activity inside–when the door opened, five little girls peered up at him.

“Um…hi,” he said uncertainly. “Is your mom home?”

The woman named Furiosa appeared behind them. “Can I help you?”

He held out her wallet. “You dropped this in the parking lot; your address was on your driver’s license so I brought it to you.”

Her eyes widened. “You did that?” she asked, taking the wallet back and flipping through it.

He shrugged, still uncomfortable. “I didn’t want to look through your stuff for a phone number unless I had to, and I didn’t want to just leave it at the store.”

“That was very generous of you,” she said sincerely. “Thank you so much.”

“Do you want to come to our tea party?” one of the girls asked loudly.

“Oh, I don’t think he does,” Furiosa tried to say, but all the girls were clamoring to get his attention.

“We have lemonade!”

“And grape juice!”

“We can dress you up!”

“I made scones!”

Max raised two placating hands. “Look, that’s very nice of you girls, but tea parties aren’t, aren’t really my thing.”

The first girl looked up at him with wide, watery eyes. “You don’t like us?” she whispered.

Max looked at Furiosa. Furiosa was trying not to smile.

“No, I do,” he said in a feeble voice.

The five girls dragged him inside, plunked him in front of their tiny table, and threw a pink feather boa around his shoulders and a plastic tiara on his head. Max was starting to wish he’d just left the wallet in the parking lot.


	15. Chapter 15

The crying started, like clockwork, at one in the morning.

“Don’t do it,” Capable said, not even bothering to open her eyes.

Nux made a pitiful face–which she didn’t see, because her eyes were closed. “But she’s crying.”

“Because she knows you’ll come running.” Capable tightened the arm around his stomach. “Don’t do it.”

“But she’s crying. That’s my daughter in there,” he whined.

“She’s my daughter too…and yet, here I am.”

“What if she really needs help?” He shifted anxiously and Capable tightened her grip on him.

“If you get up and baby her like you always do, I am going to murder you.” She cracked an eye open. “Seriously.”

“I can’t believe you’re just going to let her cry all night.” Nux sounded close to crying himself.

“If it means I can sleep for a full night again, I don’t care. Let her cry it out. She’s fine.”

The crying abruptly stopped.

“See? She’s fine.”

“That happened too soon,” Nux said, frowning.

They heard a man’s voice from inside the nursery and leapt out of bed, running to the baby’s room. They found Max holding the baby. He looked up with a guilty expression.

“Dad!” Capable exclaimed. “You know we’re trying to ferberize her!”

“I know, but she sounded so sad,” Max whined.

Capable pointed. “Go to your room. And you,” she added to her husband.

Dejected, the two men returned to their respective rooms.

“I’m ferberizing two men and a baby,” Capable muttered, tucking in her daughter. “Now go to sleep, Maxine.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> queervampires asked: "we are friends and my child’s first word was your name and im jealous but also kind of endeared" au max/furiosa

The first time she held Splendid, Furiosa felt the overwhelming, unshakeable realization that this baby, this little, tiny person, was hers. This was her daughter, her child. Hers.

And she was okay with Max holding Splendid. She was. Max had had a kid once. Max liked kids, even if they terrified him. There was a softness to him when he held Splendid, a softness Furiosa wanted to tease out piece by piece until the hunch rolled out of his shoulders and he could smile without thinking.

But when Furiosa pointed to him and asked, not expecting an answer, “Who’s that?” and the name “Max” fell out of Splendid’s mouth, Furiosa felt her stomach drop. Her Splendid’s first word was another person’s name. Not “Mama”. Not “Furiosa”. “Max”.

She tried not to let it bother her.

“You okay?” Max asked, the threat of a smile teasing his lips as Splendid reached for him.

“Fine,” Furiosa lied.

It ate at her the whole visit. He held Splendid and looked so…so happy. Well, as happy as someone like Max could be. She didn’t want to take that away from him.

“I should be off,” he said almost an hour later.

She stood up to tell him goodbye, but the words, “Splendid’s first word was your name. Not mine,” fell out of her mouth.

Max’s eyebrows raised. “I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, well.” She felt stupid for bringing it up.

Max considered this. “Maybe because she hears it so much.”

Furiosa frowned. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “You say my name…a lot.”

“I do not,” she said even as she realized that she did.

He shrugged again. “I could be imagining it, but…I don’t know. Maybe she just hears it and…repeated.”

Furiosa could not believe it. She did. She said his name several times an hour in regular conversation. Of course Splendid heard it. Of course. Of course.

“I can start saying your name more. If you want,” he added quickly. “But I guess you’d want her to call you Mom or Mama, right? I can…I mean…if you want…I can call you Mama.”

“That’s stupid,” Furiosa said in a thick voice.

“Okay.” A smile flitted at his lips. “See you…Mama.”

“Mama,” Splendid repeated.

Furiosa refused to cry.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Hi, I really enjoy dad max. Could you write a prompt where Cheedo is at a sleepover and gets nervous or home sick and has dad Max come get her?

Max did not consider himself a worrier, but when his phone went off around midnight he almost fell out of bed in his haste to answer it. “Hello?”

“Can you come pick me up?” It was Cheedo, her voice abnormally high-pitched.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, already yanking on a pair of jeans.

“Everything’s fine,” she said, clearly lying. “I just want to come home now.”

Max figured this was all he was going to get out of her for the meantime and promised to be there in ten minutes.

“Where are you going?” the other girls asked from the couch, where they were watching reruns of Australia’s Next Top Model.

“Picking up Cheedo,” he said gruffly.

“Is she okay?”

“She’s fine; we’ll be back soon,” he said, grabbing his keys. Luckily the sleepover wasn’t too far away, and by the time Max pulled up Cheedo was already waiting for him on the front porch with her friend’s mother.

“Cheedo had a little accident,” the mother said cheerfully, handing him a large plastic bag that smelled of pee. Max sighed in relief–so that was all.

“Thanks,” he grunted, accepting the pee-soaked sleeping bag, underwear, and pajama bottoms and leading Cheedo back to the car.

“I drank too much Sprite,” she said miserably.

“That happens,” he said in what he hoped was a soothing tone.

“Everyone’s gonna make fun of me forever.”

“No they won’t,” he said. “Kids your age have accidents all the time.”

Cheedo didn’t look as if she believed him. When they got back to the house, he went to toss the contents of the plastic bag into the washing machine while the sisters interrogated Cheedo. By the time he had started a load and washed his hands, the girls were up to speed on the events of the sleepover.

“So let’s just have our own sleepover,” Dag said. 

And that was how Max found himself painting Cheedo’s toenails bubblegum pink while the girls formed a braiding chain and sang along to “Tangled” (later they would insist Max teared up during the “you were my new dream” scene, but he vehemently denied it). They all fell asleep sprawled in piles on the floor. In the morning they made crepes, and Cheedo didn’t wet the bed even once.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Dad Max AU: Toast and the concept of dating

Max came downstairs to find Toast in sweats and on her laptop, not looking as if she had any intention whatsoever of moving.

“I thought you had a date tonight?” he asked, pouring himself a glass of milk.

Toast shrugged. “I did.”

“They cancel?”

“Nah, I did.”

Max furrowed his brow. “Everything okay?”

She shrugged again. “Yeah, everything’s fine, I just wasn’t really feeling it.”

“With her?”

“With…anyone.” Toast sighed. “I don’t know if I want to actually date people, you know?”

Truthfully, Max did know–he hadn’t been interested in dating for a long time after Jessie. It just hadn’t seemed appealing to him at all. “I understand,” he said. “It’s not for everyone.”

“Yeah.” She was quiet for a long moment. “I can’t even imagine, like, letting someone into your life like that. I mean, it worked out well for you and Mom and everything, but constantly having to like…interact with someone is just…that sounds exhausting.”

“It’s different,” he allowed. “And with the right person it feels, well, right. But again, it’s not for everyone. I mean, look at the Vuvalini.”

Toast actually grinned. “I can’t wait to retire and become a lesbian biker granny–I’m already a third of the way there.”

“That’s right, you don’t know how to ride a motorcycle yet.” He considered. “Wanna learn?”

Toast’s grin widened. “Yes! Can we go now?”

Max shrugged. “Sure. Put on some real pants and we’ll get going.”

Toast was ecstatic–this was better than a date.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Dad Max + finding out about Angharad's pregnancy

Max walked in the door to find Angharad and Furiosa at the kitchen table; they looked up when he came in and stopped mid-sentence, so whatever they’d been talking about was a secret. Max paused.

“Am I interrupting something?” he asked, hanging up Dog’s leash.

Their smiles were too quick, too forced.

“Of course not,” they said at the same time, shooting other panicked looks.

Max raised an eyebrow. “Really.”

They exchanged another glance.

“Well Dad…now don’t freak out…” Angharad said, so of course Max started to freak out.

“What is it? Money?”

“No, nothing like that,” she hastened to assure him. “It’s just um…well…I’mpregnant,” she blurted.

Max almost fell over. “What?!”

“Pregnant. Almost two months.” 

Max sank into a chair. “And…are you…what…?”

“I’m not sure what I’m going to do,” Angharad admitted.

“But we’ll help her figure it out,” Furiosa said, putting a hand over Angharad’s. The younger woman smiled.

“And the father?” Max asked quietly. “Is he…?”

“He’s not going to be part of this process,” Angharad said in a voice of deadly calm.

Max nodded. “All right.” He hesitated and then took Angharad’s other hand in one of his. She smiled at him.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: One of the girls comes home crying looking for Furiosa for comfort but she's not there so they go to Max instead.

Capable came home from the bowling alley feeling miserable. She went upstairs to find Furiosa and snuggle, because if anyone would tell her boys were stupid, Furiosa would, but her mother was nowhere to be found. Instead, Capable found Max propped up on his bed with his dog (cleverly named “Dog”) and watching an old western movie on his ancient TV. 

“Where’s Mom?” she asked, trying not to cry.

“She went out with Ace to look at a garage.” He looked over her. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He sat up and turned down the volume. “You look upset.”

She didn’t mean to cry, she really didn’t, but all of a sudden it just came pouring out and she found herself curled up on his bed, hugging Dog while he rubbed her back. “I don’t belong,” she blubbered. “I try to get along with everyone and act like them but they’ve all been going to school together for years and I’m the new kid and the only other kids I ever talked to were my sisters! And Dag and Cheedo are fine because they’re still kids and Toast and Angharad don’t care about making friends but I do!”

Max sighed. “You’re at a tough age,” he said.

“That’s what adults always say,” she said spitefully.

He shrugged. “Because it’s true. You’re not little kids anymore but you’re not…self-possessed enough to be teenagers. But you know something? I bet those kids don’t feel like they belong either.”

Capable gave a watery snort. “That’s not true. They all have inside jokes and their moms are all friends.”

Max considered. “I can make friends with their moms if you want.”

She actually started to giggle. “You’d hate all of them. They eat peanut brittle and drink wine.”

Max visibly winced. “Yeah but…if it gave you an in…”

Capable peered up at him. “You’d do that for me?”

He shrugged. “If it made you feel better.”

Capable sat up and threw her arms around his neck. “You don’t have to do that,” she said, voice muffled by his shoulder. “But I appreciate it.”

“What are you guys doing?” Cheedo wanted to know, sticking her head in the door.

“Get in here and hug your sister,” Max said.

Cheedo and Dag bounded into the room and hugged Capable. It didn’t take long for Toast and Angharad to join them too, all of them forming a giant pile of bodies.

“Where is everyone?” Furiosa poked her head in the room and laughed. “What’s going on?”

“We made a cuddle puddle!” Cheedo declared. “Come join us, Mommy!”

Furiosa gave a running start and jumped onto the bed, eliciting squeals of delight from the girls. They laughed so hard that the bed shook, and then the frame broke, and this made them all laugh even harder.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Prompt: (Max/Furiosa) "Mum, we all know you have a think for the hobositter." "HE'S NOT A HOBO, he's HOBODAD!" "Alright, HoboMax." Furiosa doesn't know if she should feel baffled or mortified.

Furiosa had a rare week off, so she gave Max a few days off while she spent some much-needed time with her daughters. He was still at home and would still be making dinner (he insisted), but at least now if the girls woke up in the middle of the night they would come to Furiosa instead of bothering Max.

She had them all in her minivan on the way back from the outlet mall when Toast brought it up.

“Mum, we all know you have a thing for the Hobositter.”

“He’s not a hobo, he’s HoboDAD!” Cheedo corrected.

“HoboMax, whatever,” Toast said dismissively. “Either way, she has a thing for him.”

Furiosa’s mouth fell open. “I do not! Where did you get that idea?!”

“You can’t stop staring at each other,” Angharad said, a smiling playing at her lips.

“And you two are so in synch,” Capable piped up. “You always know what the other is gonna say or do before they do it.”

Furiosa exhaled slowly. “We…understand one another,” she settled on. “But we’re not…I mean, we’re really not…”

“He has a thing for you too, you know,” Dag said. “He always gets this look on his face when we talk about you.”

Furiosa was blushing, like she wasn’t a grown-ass woman with kids and a job. “I think you girls are reading into things that aren’t there.”

“But–”

“Let’s drop the subject,” she said. “How’s school?”

The girls smirked but allowed the subject to be changed, Max soon forgotten as they told her all about school. Furiosa was only half-listening–the other half of her wondered what Max’s face looked like when he talked about her.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: The first time the girls decide that Max is "theirs" (even if they won't admit or say it out loud).

Max goes through a gamut of names with the girls–he goes from being “the Bobo” to “the Babysitter” to “Max” to “Hobo Dad” to “Mom’s Boyfriend”…but he isn’t “theirs” until his first really big fight with Furiosa.

It’s been fine up until now–their arguments, if you can call them that, are easily resolved and forgotten in no time, because they’re both adults who have dealt with bigger issues before and forgetting details or saying the wrong thing once in a while isn’t worth fighting over.

But Furiosa is livid right now, and it’s only the knowledge that Max has some serious PTSD that’s keeping her from throwing plates at him. She grips the counter until her hand turns white and snarls and he snarls back and it’s awful because he’s so stupid sometimes and she just wants to shake him.

It ends when she tells him to get out of her house.

Her house, not the house. It’s only one word and technically true, but it still cuts him to the bone. He doesn’t say anything, just walks outside and collapses in a miserable heap on the driveway because he doesn’t know what else to do. The front door creaks open and he thinks it might be Furiosa coming to yell at him or apologize or something, but it’s the girls. They’re all in pajamas, all barefoot, and they all crowd around him on the driveway.

“Did you guys break up?” Dag asks.

He shrugs. “I don’t know.“

He hears an intake of breath.

“Are you gonna leave us?” Toast asks, and if he didn’t know better, he would think her voice was cracking.

This is somewhere so much worse than Furiosa telling him to get out. “I don’t know if your mother wants me here anymore, let alone around you,” he says.

There’s some sniffling, and Cheedo climbs into his lap and throws her arms around his neck. “Don’t leave us,” she sobs, and suddenly they’re all crying and hugging him.

“You can’t leave; you belong to us,” Capable says fiercely. “You’re ours.”

He gasps, because he hasn’t felt like he was anyone’s for a long time, and now these five girls he’s gotten himself attached to…he’s theirs. They want him here.

The door creaks open again and they almost miss it over the sniffling, but Furiosa calls, “Girls, inside,” and they all whip around.

“You can’t send him away,” Angharad declares in that fierce tone she normally reserves for arguing with Max.

“I’m not going to,” Furiosa says. “Inside. Now.”

The girls hesitate, but Max tells them to go on and so they do, casting suspicious looks over their shoulders before Furiosa shuts the door behind her. She strides down the walkway and plunks herself down beside Max. “I’m sorry,” she says. “What I said was…” She shakes her head. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he mumbles. “We both…”

“Lost our tempers,” she agrees.

They sit in silence for a long moment until the door swings open and Cheedo shouts, “Max is staying, right?”

Furiosa looks at him and smiles. “He’s staying.”

A cheer goes up from inside, and Max and Furiosa can’t help laughing.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Prompt; first time dad max meets slit and nux. Is he weirded out by the boys, and does Nux want to be firends? I'm guessing slit is slit and gets his ass handed to him

“Ace!” Furiosa greeted as Ace and two of his boys entered the backyard. “Glad you could make it!”

“You know I love a good cookout,” he said as she clapped a hand on his arm in greeting. “This your nanny?”

Max, who was flipping burgers, frowned.

“This is Max,” Furiosa said diplomatically. “Max, this is my good friend Ace. He’s the one I’m trying to open a garage with.”

“Trying,” Ace said, shaking Max’s hand. “Good to meetcha; don’t know if I’d be up to handling five girls, I can barely manage this lot.” He jerked a head at the two boys. Max remembered Furiosa mentioning that Ace took in boys from the streets, and some stayed longer than others. Two of the boys had cancer and spent half their time in the hospital, and from the looks of it, these were the two. “Max, these’re my boys Nux and Slit. Nux goes to school with Capable.”

“Good to meet you,” Max grunted, shaking their hands.

The smaller one, Nux, looked a combination of impressed and terrified of Max. Slit just looked bored.

Furiosa started talking to Ace about the garage and Max went back to flipping burgers. Nux found Capable and practically attached himself to her; she didn’t seem to mind, but Max knew puppy love when he saw it. He’d have to do some snooping and figure out if this kid had a harmless crush or was going to be a problem.

Slit wandered over to Max. “Can I have a beer?” he asked.

Max already didn’t like him.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: More prompts: Slit, our resident trash talker, has accidentally made Sunflowers first word a naughty one, or Reliables your choice. grandparents try and kill him for it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for all who don't know, Sunflower is Dag's daughter. Slit may or may not be the father (he totally is) but we don't talk about that.

They were having a lovely family moment, all cooing over Sunflower and laughing at her gurgles, when it came out of her mouth.

“Fuck!”

Furiosa was stunned, to say the least. “What did she just say?!”

“She said–” Max began, but Furiosa clapped a hand over his mouth.

“Don’t say it again!” She glanced at the baby. “Maybe it was just an accident. Babies just make noises…”

“Fuck,” Sunflower said again.

“Oh, fuck,” Max muttered.

Dag came in from outside, wiping her hands on her pants. “Your tomato plant looks good, might have to spray for beetles though.”

“Have you been listening to your daughter recently?” Furiosa asked.

Dag glanced between them. “Um, yeah, why?”

“Fuck!” shouted Sunflower.

Dag’s mouth fell open in surprise–then she laughed. “That’s her first word! Incredible!”

“You say that around her often?” Max wanted to know.

She shrugged. “Not really. Slit says it all the time though. Cheedo told him to watch his mouth but he said she was too young to understand what he was saying. Guess he was wrong!”

Max and Furiosa exchanged murderous looks.

Slit and Nux came in at that moment, hands greasy from working on Furiosa’s car.

“You’ve been teaching our granddaughter swear words?” Furiosa demanded.

Slit blinked. “What?”

“Fuck!” screeched Sunflower.

Slit laughed–but it turned into a yelp when he saw the expression on Max and Furiosa’s faces. “Gotta go BYE!” he shouted, hightailing it out of the house.

“Oh, fuck,” Sunflower babbled.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Modern au where max and furiosa try to take the girls out to a nice dinner but it (expectedly) ends in disaster

After making their engagement official (they’d had to ask the girls first), Max and Furiosa decided to take the girls out to a nice dinner–as a family. They’d all piled into Furiosa’s minivan, chattering happily; the girls had gotten dressed up for the occasion and they were excited to do something as a family.

The restaurant wasn’t five-star, but it still had more than two forks, which was enough to wow the girls. After giving the waiter their drink orders and getting hold of coloring paper and crayons for Cheedo, they settled in to peruse the menu and enjoy the bread basket.

“What’s veal?” Dag asked.

Max and Furiosa instantly looked at each other. “It’s–”

“It’s baby cow,” Toast, who knew everything, replied before either of the adults could.

Dag’s face scrunched up. “Why would anyone eat a baby cow?!”

“They’re more tender than the adults. Tenderer? More tender?”

Dag started crying. “But they’re babies!”

“You eat eggs, and those are baby chickens that never hatched,” Capable tried to say, but this just made it worse.

“Is everything okay over here?” the waiter asked.

“She’s fine,” Max and Furiosa said at the same time.

“Why do you kill baby cows?!” Dag demanded. People were beginning to stare.

The waiter’s mouth opened and closed several times. “I don’t know?” He turned to the adults. “Um…”

“She’ll have the grilled cheese,” Furiosa sighed.

Dag just kept crying.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: The first time max calls the girls "his", is when he's threatening someone to stay away from them. They dog pile him afterwards in tears because he has officially chosen. Them

Max knows that it’s weird for the girls to have a grown man babysit them–it’s probably just as weird, he thinks, as him playing Fraulein Maria to them. So when he takes them to the water park, he tries not to hover too close to them or in any way impede their fun. Water is good for his leg, so he mostly floats in the shallow section while the girls go down the water slides and ride the lazy river. His only requirement is that they stop by once in a while so he knows they’re okay. Even Angharad agrees to this, though not without some huffing and exaggerated eye rolling. Cheedo more than obeys this rule–when she isn’t going down the water slide (which she does a lot), she’s climbing over Max and splashing him and asking him to play mermaid with her (he begs out because of his leg, so she goes back to the water slide). 

They’re all gathered around the chairs he’s staked out as theirs, eating a mid-afternoon snack, when Max gets up to go to the bathroom. He comes back to find a man about his own age talking to the girls, and it’s not hard to see what’s going on. The guy can’t stop leering at Angharad’s chest and all of the girls look visibly upset. Max storms over to them and gets right in the guy’s face. “Can I help you?” he growls.

The guy looks taken aback. “Calm down, man–”

“Stay away from my girls,” Max growls in a voice so threatening it’s almost a hiss. “Go.”

It’s a public area and a few people are staring and the creep clearly doesn’t think it’s worth it; with a snort, he retreats. Quickly.

“Hobo Dad!” Cheedo exclaims, wrapping herself around Max’s leg. All of the girls, even Angharad, look at him with wide, adoring eyes.

“You said we were your girls,” Capable says a little breathlessly. “Did you mean it?”

“I…” Max doesn’t know what to say. He hadn’t even realized he’d called them “his” girls until Capable pointed it out. “If you want to be,” he finally settles on.

They beam at him.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Prompting! How about slit thinks it's unfair that max likes Nux more than him, then Either tries to fix this or just whines and whines until everyone says they like Nux better

Slit liked to consider himself a hardass, but sometimes he just got really offended that Max didn’t like him as much as he liked Nux. Max took a while to warm up, but it was like he’d never warmed up to Slit. Slit had actually witnessed the older man petting Nux’s head. You know how many head-pats Slit had gotten? NONE.

He guessed it kind of made sense, since Nux had married Capable and was Max’s son-in-law. All Slit had done was possibly get Dag pregnant (she still insisted it was that guy she met at Coachella, but Sunflower resembled Slit just a little too much) and accidentally wreck Max’s car (it was one time).

“Why doesn’t your dad like me?” he demanded next time he hooked up with Dag.

She shrugged, handing him the bowl. “I mean, you’re kind of obnoxious.”

Slit was so indignant he didn’t even want to smoke. “if I’m obnoxious, why do you spend so much time with me?!”

She shrugged again. “You’re a veritable casanova.”

Slit wasn’t sure if he should be pleased or insulted that she was apparently only using him for his body. “I am a fucking delight to be around!”

Dag only rolled her eyes.

The next time Slit saw Max, he flat-out asked him, “Why don’t you like me?”

Max blinked. “Well, do you want me to go in alphabetical order, or chronological?”

Slit almost stamped his foot. “I’m just as good a son-in-law as Nux!”

Max considered this–and then reached forward and pet Slit’s head. “That’ll do, Slit,” he said. “That’ll do.”

Slit could have died and gone to Valhalla.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Babysitter/Hobodad!Max: One of the girls is sick and has to stay home from school (or at least until Furiosa can get off work) and they aren't all that used to Max yet. It starts out very awkward. Bonus if everyone ends up sicks and Babysitter Max has to become Nurse Max.

Furiosa was on another long drive when it happened.

He was getting the girls ready for school (peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the crusts for Cheedo, Capable’s green jacket fresh out of the dryer, a touch up on Dag’s chipped nail) when he shouted up to the two oldest girls that they were going to be late.

Toast came downstairs with wide eyes. “Angharad is really sick,” she said. “Like throw-up sick.”

Max groaned and went upstairs to see. Sure enough, Angharad was curled up on the floor beside the toilet looking miserable. “Can I stay home?” she asked, close to crying. The oldest girl was the wariest of Max and gave him the cold shoulder on a good day, so he knew it was really bad if she was asking his permission.

“Of course you can,” he said. He reached forward, carefully, and felt her forehead. “You’re burning up. Will you be okay while I take the girls to school?”

She nodded and curled back up, pressing her hot face against the cold tile floor.

“Is she okay?” Cheedo wanted to know.

“She’s pretty sick. I’ll clean the house later so none of her germs get around.”

He dropped the girls off at their respective schools and stopped at the drugstore on his way home to pick up some flu medicine, because he strongly suspected that was what Angharad was sick from. He found her still in the bathroom; after urging her to drink some water and take some medicine, he convinced her to go back to bed. He cleaned the bathroom and then did a thorough scrubbing and Lysol-ing of the house and was about to call Furiosa to let her know when his cell rang.

“Hey Max,” Capable’s voice said weakly from the other line. “I think I got whatever Angharad got…I threw up in third period…”

Max bit back a groan. Capable shared a room with Angharad–of course she’d get it. “I’ll be right there,” he promised.

Capable was waiting for him in the nurse’s office, and she did indeed look as awful as Angharad had looked. He got her to take some more of the flu medicine when they got home and had to carry her up the stairs because she was so dizzy she couldn’t walk. He let Angharad help her change into pajamas and went back downstairs to call Furiosa. Their mother wasn’t thrilled, of course, but she thanked Max for taking care of them and apologized for the inconvenience.

“It’s not so bad,” he said. “As long as it’s just the two of them.”

He spoke too soon.

Cheedo came into his room in the middle of the night crying and saying her tummy hurt. She threw up all over him and Max was so upset that he’d jumped fully-clothed into the shower, because he would be damned if he got sick too. By the time he’d finished washing their soiled pajamas and got Cheedo to climb into bed, Dag, who shared a room with Cheedo, was also sick.

Max was exhausted by the time he had to take Toast to school, so much so that when she came downstairs for breakfast he admitted he didn’t know if he’d be up to it.

“That’s okay, because I have a fever, so I don’t think you should,” she said, showing him the thermometer she must have taken while he was running around cleaning. “And you don’t look too hot yourself.”

“I’m just tired,” he said, but Toast insisted on taking his temperature. Sure enough, when it finished beeping it read 100.

“Oh fuck,” he groaned.

In the end, they all piled into the living room, dragging pillows and blankets with them and creating a giant nest. Mostly they just napped while reality TV and Lifetime movies murmured in the background. They all looked and felt terrible.

By the time Furiosa got home, the house had fallen into absolute chaos.

“Meant to clean up,” Max grunted from the recliner.

“He’s been busy taking care of us,” Angharad said, surprising them all by smiling at him.

Furiosa raised her eyebrows. “Well, as long as you don’t get me sick too.”

“Don’t speak too soon,” Max warned.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Ummm umm umm! Quickly thinking of prompt! Uh, Dad Max having to talk to Nux about sex and being a good partner.

This wasn’t exactly Max’s ideal conversation with his daughter’s boyfriend. He really didn’t care what the girls got up to and with whom, as long as they were safe, healthy, and happy about it.

But given Capable’s history, Max felt like he should probably talk to Nux in case Capable hadn’t yet.

He’d asked him outside to help him work on his car, which Nux was always eager to do. He’d started off with general questions–how are things going, how’s school, yadda yadda, and had gradually eased into the subject of Nux’s relationship with Capable.

“You two uh…have been together for a few months now,” Max said carefully.

Nux nodded. “Yeah, we have!”

Max cleared his throat. “You know, most teenagers…they start…doing things…around this time.”

Nux caught his meaning and turned red. “We haven’t–I haven’t–”

“I don’t care,” Max said a little too quickly. “I just…you know…if you have any questions or…or anything…I don’t know how, um, experienced you are…”

“Not very,” Nux admitted, still red.

Max didn’t know if that relieved him or not. He knew Capable had been with other boys, and Nux was inexperienced and respectful enough that nothing would happen unless Capable initiated it. Still, Nux had been raised by a pack of wild boys, so it was entirely possible he’d received a lot of false information. “Do you have any…any questions?”

“No,” Nux said, and then suddenly, “Actually, yes.”

Nux, it turned out, was full of questions. It became less and less uncomfortable as the conversation went on, and they were finally able to look straight at each other without flinching. Max was glad they could have this talk–he knew most fathers would never have this conversation with their daughter’s boyfriends, let alone get used to the idea of their daughters having sex at all, but Max was just glad his daughter’s boyfriend wanted to make her feel safe and happy.

The side door to the garage opened and they cut off as Capable and Furiosa entered, grocery bags in their arms.

“What are you boys talking about?” Capable asked.

“Nothing. Can I help you with those?” Nux asked eagerly, taking the bags out of Capable’s arms and carrying them inside. She followed with a dopey grin.

“How’d it go?” Furiosa asked in a soft voice so as not to be overheard. She’d intentionally taken Capable grocery shopping with her so the boys could have their talk uninterrupted.

“Good,” Max said truthfully, also taking a bag. “I don’t think there was anything to worry about before, but now there definitely isn’t.”

“You’re a good man, Rockatansky,” she said, kissing his jaw as one hand slipped down between his legs.

“And you’re a dirty girl, Jo Bassa.”

Capable chose that moment to walk into the garage. “Can you NOT?!” she exclaimed in humiliation, running back inside.

Max and Furiosa sighed.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Huge family road trip! Dad max Fury mom The girls, nuxable, glory, sunflower, and uncle slit all go camping in the great outdoors. But not everything go as planned #Randomness

No one was exactly sure of who had thought up the trip, but everyone seemed to be dreading it. Max, Furiosa, all five of their girls, Nux, Glory, Vallie, Reliable, Little Max, Sunflower, and somehow Slit (though no one was exactly sure how he’d been invited) were all packed into three cars and driving four hours to the mountains, where they’d spend two nights camping.

It hadn’t been bad at first; Max, Furiosa, Angharad, Max Jr, and Toast had all gone in Furiosa’s SUV, and they mostly listened to music or just sat in silence. Nux and Capable had taken a car with their kids and were able to pass the time talking. Cheedo, Dag, Sunflower, and Slit had all gone in Cheedo’s car and alternated between talking and arguing (really it was just Dag and Slit arguing). While Angharad and Cheedo took the kids swimming, the rest of the adults pitched tents and set up camp. When the work was done, Max took Toast, Nux, Dag, Max Jr., and Sunflower fishing while everyone else kept swimming.

“This is perfect,” Cheedo sighed in contentment.

Even dinner went surprisingly well; Furiosa, Angharad, Capable, Cheedo, and Slit, having been the ones to not catch any fish, skinned, boned, and cooked the fish. It was very good, and when they roasted marshmallows for s’mores after, Furiosa told the grandkids the stories her family used to tell around campfires.

“This is nice,” Toast commented to Angharad. “Like when we used to come on camping trips with the Vuvalini.”

It was nice.

And then Slit had suggested a bear hunt.

Ace used to take his boys out on “bear hunts”, which was really just Ace leading the boys around the woods while his buddies would hide and make noises, and finally one would leap out of the darkness with a roar and all the boys would scream and run back to the campsite. Except none of the adults were wiling to do that, so it ended up being just Slit leading all the kids into the woods and giving them bullshit advice like “clapping two sticks together keeps the mountain lions away” and “bears can smell if you’ve taken a bath recently”.

“Why did you even invite him?” Toast complained to Dag.

But Dag blinked. “I didn’t invite him. I thought one of you did.”

They turned to Nux, who looked just as surprised. “I didn’t invite him. I thought this was a family thing.”

Eventually they realized no one had invited Slit–he had, as per usual, just shown up.

They were laughing about it and cracking open beers when they heard screaming that could only mean Slit had scared them. The mothers sighed and went to go catch their children and prepared to scold Slit, but he was leading the charge.

“THERE’S A BEAR!” he shouted. “OR SOMETHING!”

“Where is my daughter?!” Dag demanded.

“Yeah, and where’s Max?” Angharad wanted to know.

Everyone realized that the oldest two were in fact missing.

“You just left them behind?!” Dag shrieked.

“They were right behind us!” Slit insisted. Reliable began to cry.

“They’re probably fine,” Max said gruffly. “We’ll go look for them.”

Everyone grabbed flashlights and clumped together as they wandered back into the woods. Slit, feeling guilty, strayed a little away from the group–so when he heard a rustle behind a nearby tree, he let out a very unmanly scream–

–and was tackled by Max and Sunflower, who burst into laughter.

“We scared you!” Sunflower shouted. The rest of the adults had come running, and Dag high-fived Sunflower. “Mum, it worked just like you said!”

“What are you talking about?!” Slit demanded as Angharad brushed leaves off of Max.

“I knew you’d pull some stupid BS like that, so I told them to do it,” Dag said smugly.

Everyone was laughing by now. Slit was still upset and still feeling ashamed for running off and leaving two of the kids, so they sat him down in front of the fire and cracked open a beer for him while Sunflower made him a s’more.

It was a good trip.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Max/Furiosa: My kid shoplifted from your store and I marched her/him back here to apologize to you AU

The quiet, gruff-looking man who’d been in here just a few minutes ago marched back in, pushing his pale stick of a kid in front of him. They didn’t look related, but Furiosa wasn’t judging–she’d adopted five girls.

“Mmm,” the man grunted, and the miserable-looking kid came up to the counter.

“I stole a pocketknife,” he mumbled, depositing the knife on the counter. “I just really wanted it. It’s so shiny. So chrome.”

Furiosa raised her eyebrows. What was the appropriate response here? Thank you? But she didn’t want to seem like she was rewarding his behavior, especially since it looked like his dad was the one forcing him to apologize. Don’t do that again? But that felt like negative reinforcement and he might be inclined to shoplift without apologizing in the future.

She was saved from a response by the man grunting again, and the boy said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“I accept your apology,” she said delicately. She figured he had already gotten an earful and would get more when he got home. She flicked her eyes towards the dad. “Thanks for bringing him back.”

The man grunted again and tugged his son with him. The boy glanced over his shoulder before they left.

There was a piece of carefully-folded paper in the pocketknife, which Furiosa unfolded and read the chicken scratch carefully.

Sike, I’m actually not a thief! My dad just couldn’t stop staring at you while we were in the store and he never stares at anyone. Please call him, I promise he’s very nice.

Underneath he had written a ten-digit number. Furiosa couldn’t help laughing.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: nuxable's first fight!

Capable stormed into the house, slamming the door behind her.

“What’s with you?” Toast asked.

“Nux,” Capable spit out, storming upstairs. “He’s so…URGH!”

Everyone else exchanged glances.

“Are they fighting?” Cheedo asked, wide-eyed.

“They don’t fight,” Angharad said, but she didn’t sound so sure of herself.

Max walked outside and saw a sulking Nux sitting in his car, still idling in the driveway. Max leaned into the window. “So…”

“I asked her to marry me,” Nux said miserably.

Max reared up so quickly he hit his head on the car. “You just turned eighteen! You’re not even in college yet!”

“Yeah, community college,” Nux said, sounding, if possible, even more miserable. “Meanwhile Capable is going to a big university three hours away with hot people who like…go running shirtless and drink mochas and talk about books.”

Max sighed. “You can’t ask her to marry you so that people you think are better than you won’t hit on her.”

“What if she meets someone better than me?” Nux asked in a strained voice. “Because I’m just the pathetic high school boyfriend who never left this town and works in a garage and doesn’t read books?”

“You’re the boyfriend who loves her and makes her happy,” Max reminded him. “But she’s not gonna be happy if you try to keep her on a leash.”

Nux looked abashed. “I never thought of it that way.”

Max opened the car door. “Go on.”

Max turned off the car and climbed out, following Max inside. Capable was on the stairs; she narrowed her eyes. “What are you–”

Nux walked up to her and buried his face in her stomach. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry, I’m stupid, I’m sorry.”

Capable looked surprised–but at a nod from Max, she wrapped her arms around Nux’s head and neck. “It’s okay,” she murmured.

Max left them to it.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rhllors asked: you saw me sneaking out of my house at like 1 am, what do you mean what am i doing, what are you doing outside at 1 am - cheedo and max

“What are you doing out at one in the morning?”

Cheedo squeaked as she realized Max was standing right outside the door. “What are you doing?” she countered.

He looked perplexed. “I am an adult.”

Cheedo couldn’t exactly argue with this logic. “Well, go do your adult thing and I’ll go do my…thing.”

“What thing is that?” he wanted to know.

“What thing is your adult thing?” she demanded.

They stared each other down for a long moment.

“What’s that smell?” she asked after a long minute.

“Nothing. Fertilizer,” he lied.

Cheedo narrowed her eyes. “You’re hiding something.”

“So are you,” he said in a weak voice.

“Are you smoking marijuana?” she demanded.

“Please don’t call it that.”

“You’re smoking pot?”

“Yeah, and what are you doing?” he countered. “It’s one am!”

Cheedo actually blushed. “Well…don’t get mad…but Dag called and said she’s pretty drunk and her designated driver left, so I was gonna go pick her up.”

Max sighed. “Okay. Let’s get in the car.” He took a drag from his joint.

“Can I?” Cheedo asked.

Max glanced at her. “Oh, why the hell not,” he grunted. “One daughter’s already intoxicated, what’s a little weed?”


End file.
